From the title of todays post, I'll bet you thought I was going to write about what in the world happened to my regular blogging activity. Right? Wrong. Well, sort of wrong. I'll get to that explanation later in this post.
For now, what I meant by that title was "What in the world happened to..........the library?
Last week, on a lovely 90 degree day, I decided to escape to the library,(air-conditioned) for a little peace and quiet, and to check out a few books. While driving, I reminisced back in time to when my daughter was little. On a hot day, we would also escape to the library. I can remember letting out a sigh of relief the minute we would enter the cool, quiet building that smelled, well, like books!
She knew to use her "library" voice while there, and we enjoyed exploring books for her to check out. Nice picture huh? Now, fast forward to "the present."
I walked in, and from the level of noise, I assumed that perhaps the president had been shot or something! Children of all ages were running, (yes, running!) all around, and talking loudly, shouting actually. I nearly tripped and broke my neck when a child of about 3 dumped a pile of books at my feet. His mother, who was sitting at least 40 feet from him, yelled out "Max, don't do that" while never taking her eyes off of her phone. And no, she didn't go and pick up the pile of books. She was in the middle of a text after all.
I made my way to the rows of books and tried to shut out the noise while some 8 or 9 year olds played tag up and down the isles. After observing for a while, I discovered that their mom had dropped them off and would be out front in two hours to pick them up. Wow! Great, use the library for free babysitting.
I moved to a hopefully more tame section, and promptly dropped my purse. I leaned over to pick up the stuff that fell out, and then straitened up only to come face to face with a scuzzy looking guy leering at me while he waited in line for a turn to use the internet. He winked at me and gave me a big smile from a mouth missing several teeth. Time to go home!!! On my way out, I stopped and asked the library lady why all of this kind of behavior was being allowed. She looked around tiredly, shrugged, and said "Well, you know, this is a public library. We can't tell people how to act. Besides, they just get mad if you shush their kids, and they make a huge scene about it." Again, WOW. I didn't bother to mention the pervert in the internet line. Then I went home, had a nervous breakdown, and vowed to order all my books from Amazon!
It's such a shame that people refuse to behave in public anymore. So many people think they have every right to do exactly as they please, without a single thought of anyone else. Restaurants are just as bad as the library, but I'll spare you of that experience.
So to partly explain my temporary disappearance from my blog, I guess I can sum it up with the word "Disenchanted." I am disenchanted with my society, my community, my world. Whatever you want to call it, it really sucks. And yes, I realize how cynical I sound. But that's nothing compared to the way I feel.
Part of the problem is summer. I really don't do well in the summer. Summer is when I lost my father. Summer is when I lost my sister Kerry. Summer hurts. This summer has been especially hard for me without Kerry. I feel very alone and rather let down the last couple of months. I guess it's my own fault. You can't just expect people in your life to remember that you hurt, or to automatically know you are struggling. Everyone has a life after all. So I better get with it, and continue on with mine so I won't look like a complete lame-ass.
To end this on a more positive note, tune in next week for a post about my craft room and the changes I'm making in there! Pictures included!
PS. It really is nice to be back, even if I sound kinda cranky!